styrofoam death machine

Eating at jack in the box. Going back to an old favorite, the ultimate cheeseburger. I've been eating less meat. I acutally hardly eat any at all. And as with cigarettes last year, cutting them out of my diet only makes them taste worse and makes me feel worse when I do eat it.

Sometimes I get the urge to light up, especially when I take out the trash for some reason. Maybe its cause when I was living in Santa Ana, I'd only smoke at night and use taking out the trash as a reason/excuse to go outside.

There are three other men eating solo here, and we are all facing the same direction.

Twitter is a national craze now, being talked about all over the media. If I were in a band, I think Twitter would be one of the best marketing tools, provided that all of their "fans" had access to mobile internet. If I were an artist, dj, or anything like that where getting people to come see you can be like pulling teether, it would also help.

Not everybody Twits about shitting and going to Target.

Speaking of Target, I tried to find the new Morrissey cd there, and it was sold out. I did get Erakuh the new New Found Glory, which came with a Target exclusive shirt. That's one of the weird/ interesting things about Target and Best Buy now... they always have exclusive tracks or packaging or bonus discs. For completist fucks like me, this is a blessing and a curse.

I really want to listen to Bob Segar right now for some reason.

the art

Paint me a pretty picture
make sure it's black and white
the colors would hurt my eyes
no imperfections or I'll cut them out
paint me a pretty picture
I painted over all my others in red


ive been studying a lot about color. about melanin, pigment, and color theory. why? just to know. i have this weird thirst for knowledge about it.

today, i read something that blew my mind. occasionally that happens in my field of work. DJ Muldoon blew my mind with his theories about haircutting. Robert Cromeans blew my mind with his theories about the industry.

today i read that the primary colors are not red, blue, and yellow. they are actually MAGENTA, CYAN, and YELLOW. mixing all three together makes black.

i also read that colors that i THOUGHT were tertiary, such as blue-green, red-orage, etc... are NOT tertiary but secondary. tertiary colors are apparently made by mixing three primary colors in varying ratios, which actually make browns and grays.

will i teach this to my students? no.

its funny too because this morning for a bit i was listening to Ravindra Svarupa Dasa speak (it randomly came on my ipod thanks to Shelter). he was talking about scientific theories, and about how we all think a certain way, until we learn SOMETHING NEW. then all of the sudden, the way before becomes "well, before we thought THIS, but now we know THIS"

maybe the universe is trying to tell me to question everything. to seek knowledge.

or maybe im just not as smart as i thought.

ill just fall

last night i fell down. i turned on the stairway and the carpet was slippery against my clean feel, and i slid down and landed pretty much on my ass.

my back hasnt really felt right since.

i have a long history of falling, most notably memorialized in the Mistake song "why does the ground hate my face?"

it goes back even further, though. i fell off my skateboard the first day of summer going into sophomore year, and as a result the doctor found i had scoliosis.

basically, im a mess. im pretty clumsy. i have cuts all over the back of my hand right now, including one that will be a pretty scar. no fucking clue how i got any of them.

makes things interesting i suppose, and im almost used to it by now.

something wicked

working at commissary. ive got to pee real bad. listening to isis and bloodlet.

did some hair yesterday (not for compensation ;)) and then went to California adventure for like an hour. drove the 11 minutes to Sonic on the other side of Anaheim just to get an ocean water. so fucking good.

i feel like i had more to write about, but its escaping me now.

oh, was awoken at 4:10am on saturday morning to Dev pounding on the door. she informed me that the tooth that we had tried to remove some 8 hours prior had come out. i didnt have any cash, so i told her to go back to bed and that we'd put her tooth under the pillow on monday night, cause the tooth fairy had the weekend off. quick thinking.

kill an addict

You've made excuses for the fucked up things you've done
But everyones heard them before
Your lying and stealing to feed your addiction
Won't be tolerated any more

I tried to help you
,but you spit in my face
So now you're on your own
I see your life slipping away
You brought it on yourself
Go
Those I've hated are the ones I've held so close
And those who use betrayal will be the ones
The ones who suffer the most

-Hatebreed

back to the old house, part 2

I've been remembering more about my family.

I remember going back to Yuma quite frequently between the ages of 8 and 12. I usually spent time with my (great) aunt and (great) uncle, Josephine and Ron. Josie went by the name Cheppie. They were not only my dad's aunt and her husband, but my god parents. They couldn't have kids of their own so they took very good care of neices and nephews. They had a large house, like 3 or 4 bedrooms, and a revolving cast of young people came and went. My uncle Stevie was among them. He was like 21 when I was young, and was a wild reckless bachelor. He once got detained in mexico for weeks. We thought he'd just disappeared or worse, and one day just returned with a tale of corrupt mexican cops holding him for flipping his truck.

I called Ron and Cheppie Nini and Nono. I know, sounds super mexican. But that side of the family had all married mexicans, so that's what I grew up around. And everyone had Nana and Nini and Tata and weird names like Linca and Lupe and Hender. Anyway, Nini and Nono had a huge yard with goats and a german shepard named Basha and a boat and a satelite for the tv and basically all this cool stuff that I didn't. Of course I'd love to spend the summer or xmas with my rich, childless relatives who loved me dearly.

Now, in the summer, Yuma gets above 120 degrees. Its hot as fuck. Return Of the Jedi was filmed nearby. There were cactus and gila monsters and well, it was the desert. During the day they'd go to work, and my aunt would come visit for lunch. When she got off, we'd go to the video store and rent 3 movies, which I'd watch the next day. On the weekends we'd go to the river or lake and fish and swim. I learned how to drive and dock and launch a boat at an early age (my moms family had boats as well). There were a few other neighborhood kids I ran with as well.

Toby lived next door. He was the all american golden boy type. Copey lived across the street, and he was a real nutjob. His sister was like a valley girl and very flirtatious. J.R. lived at the end of the block, was the richest and was very proficient with a bow and arrow. All of the kids on the block had hunting weapons of some sort, bb guns/ pellet guns, bows, etc. And we would regularly go out on the block in the early morning hours and hunt birds.

As I grew older, my frequency in visiting dwindled. I think the last time I was there to visit was maybe 8th grade. I had a picture for a long time of my dad and I in my Nini's yard, with her dog, me wearing a Genesis "susudio tour" shirt. Writing this makes me want to write to them, telling them about my life.

I've never been good at communicating with my non-immediate family. While I talk to my mom 2-5 times per week, I talk to my grandma 2-5 times per year, and the rest less than that. Maybe I should work on that.

we dont have to worry anymore

at commissary, listening to the Exploding Hearts

i picked up on this band really late, but i fell in love quickly. Jerry had told me for a long time that id love it, and im sure other people over the years had too, but im soooo closed minded when it comes to new bands that i didng pay attention.

i think i like SHATTERED more than GUITAR ROMANTIC. i dunno why. maybe cause the sound is more raw, or maybe i just like the tracks better.

if you dont know anything about this band, they were a "power-pop" band from Oregon, and driving home from a show three of the members died. crazy.

heres a video from the enhanced cd




in other news, my hands are cold and im hungry.

my 32nd birthday is coming up. going to Disneyland on my birthday. dont know what else. maybe vegas? maybe seaworld? meh. going to Chicago in April, maybe thats good enough.

by the way, i have the best parents ever.