lies

ive built a career off of a lie

im not really a nice guy.
im not positive.
i am in a band.
i dont believe in god, in fact i disagree with christianity, and have considered more than once joining the Church Of Satan, but decided that it wasnt worth 200 dollars.
i think im better than most people.
i am a nerd.
i hid who i was because i didnt want to offend people.

i pretended to be someone i wasnt so that i could have a job to pay for my kid. i dont give a fuck about "be nice, or else". i do enjoy helping people, and i do enjoy teaching... mostly because im good at it.

and now, i feel like i wasted half of my life because i didnt wake the fuck up. i know that there is a difference between being fake and just not telling people who you really are, and im having a hard time deciding exactly what i did.

if this seems confusing to you, imagine how i feel.