nights like these

i hate nights like these. its been a while.

life has been so fucking hectic. maybe thats why right now i feel fucking terrible.

its 2:34 am. i just got home from work. working at a bar. opening beer bottles and pouring wine and making shots of soju mixed with cranberry juice and vermouth. chopping fruit to make sangria.

maybe its the fact that ive been up since 645am
maybe its the fact that i walked away from working for 6 hours with 81 dollars
maybe its the fact that im so stressed out about the other stuff happening in my life

either way, when i walked to my car tonight, it felt like someone was looming over me, pressing on my shoulders, forcing me to walk slower. like a gulag. like a lamb to the slaughter. like a kid walking back to his first day of school. like a criminal to the gallows.

"tired sick and hating"

give me sleep.